Finding Faith

Already struggling with anxiety, Jaden felt a lot of pressure about when to start that relationship. She was also dealing with bullying in her Christian school. She says, “A lot of Christians think they have a free pass. You’d think they’d be nicer, but they’re not.” The Adamson family transplanted from Maine to Michigan, and enrolled Jaden in 5th grade at Village Adventist Elementary School. She remembers, “Everybody in my new school, Village, was very, very welcoming…all of them. And it was amazing!” But, she adds, “There was a slow shift as I grew up…teenage stuff came in and life got crazy.”

Jaden was becoming more and more anxious. “When I’m anxious…I pray every day…it just kind of comes through my head, like talking to [God] as a friend.” Though her prayer life was active, she felt abandoned by God.

Eventually, graduation came, and Jaden moved on to a new school. “As bad as the anxiety and depression was, school made it so much worse. And so, you know, more prayer.” She left school to take time to find herself again.

The desire for control has been a continuous struggle for Jaden. “It was really hard. If I’m being honest, I’m still struggling, still wrestling, because I’ve always had that issue with letting go of control and letting Him take over. That’s one thing I fight a lot.”

In her spiritual walk, though, Jaden is learning to let go of control little by little. “When I’m freaking out about something, I send up the prayer, ‘All You, all You, God, ‘cause I got nothing right here.’” She sends up the “all You” prayer often because of her anxiety and many health issues that come with chronic pain.

In spite of the difficulties and doubts Jaden has faced, she counts her blessings. She has had many positive spiritual adult and peer influences in her life–through family members, church leaders, Pathfinders, friends, and school.

Last fall, Jaden made the decision to be baptized. She knew she wanted to be baptized on her birthday, and, inspired by her friend’s baptism at Camp Au Sable last summer, she planned to be baptized at Camp, as well.

When Jaden asked Pastor Craig Harris to do the baptism, he didn’t hesitate. “Pastor Craig is awesome,” Jaden recalls. “He told me he would take a saw to the ice and cut it open if he needed to to get me baptized!”

“I wanted it to be epic,” she said. “I was freezing even in my coat and a sweater or two, but I didn’t call it off.” That’s how, on a frigid day in January, Jaden and Pastor Craig found themselves in the Au Sable River, surrounded by many of Jaden’s family members, lots of Pathfinders, and even a few Stevensville church members that drove up just for the baptism.

Jaden was still a bit scared, but she prayed, “Okay, God, all You,” knowing that He would pull her through. When she came up out of the water, Jaden smiled a smile bigger than any she had smiled in a long time.

She says, “I know a lot of people say baptism isn’t something you should just jump into, but sometimes if you’re scared, you just have to jump. I was scared for a long time, but I finally committed myself to it. But, baptism itself drew me closer to God. If it’s something you think you want, I would tell you to jump right in.” She goes on to explain that being baptized doesn’t mean you understand everything about God, or that you won’t still have struggles.

Jaden is serving God with her gifts and talents in Pathfinder Teen Leadership Training, working the sound system during church services, and acting in the Andrews University Passion Play. As Jaden looks forward to the next part of her journey, she holds on to the promise of Jeremiah 29:11. Although she has her own plans, hopes, and dreams for her life, she recognizes that she’s not sure of God’s plan for it yet.

Jaden has learned that faith doesn’t look like having it all figured out. Sometimes it looks like standing in the river, breathing deep, and praying again:

“All You, God.”

Brianna Martin teaches is a junior high math teacher at Ruth Murdoch Elementary School